I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
