saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
