I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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