the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
