Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
