You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
17 year olds will be the death of me.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
