Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
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