I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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