You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize