In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
my poor anus
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
