try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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