you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
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