I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
so let's talk penis.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
