wat bout pragnant strippers??
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Randomize
