Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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