69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
