Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
