if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
