So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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