I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
im having a threesome with these popsicles
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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