Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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