Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
