I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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