I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
No subtext here. People are naked.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
