i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
