yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
All I want is dick and wine.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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