Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
