I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
