Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
