I puked a lego.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
