Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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