Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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