Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
