idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
