At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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