I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i would punch a child for taco bell
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
