Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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