nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
