My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
