so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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