My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
