Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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