k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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