Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize