So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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