Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
