He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
