These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
