Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
