apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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