I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
