We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
