sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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