just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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