Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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