We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
