Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
