he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
