Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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