my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He felt like a one man threesome
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
